The Five Circles of Influence and Impact
The 3rd Circle
CONNECTION
We believe the tribe conversation is critically important as it creates and distinguishes the language and structure of a modern-day thriving tribe for you. As you develop the 4P’s; perspective, philosophy, principles, and practices of a thriving tribe, you expand your tribal consciousness and begin to master important interactions that become the foundations for success and achievement in all areas of life.
The TribeUp Success triad
Live Your Best Life Now
Achieve Your Highest Aims Now
Make Your Greatest Contribution to Society Now
For our purposes in the tribe conversation, I propose that connection is widely misunderstood and misplaced as a distinction, making it timely for us to dive deeper into what it is and what causes it. It is often used to imply something as lowly as a digital follow-follow, or some version of knowing someone. It is also used to describe what might be called something like “kindred bond”. Although this might be possible with connection, it is not the whole perspective in the TribeUp framework.
Many years ago, I learned four powerful sentences from Dr. John C. Maxwell. This is the way I remember them 25 years later:
Everything rises and falls on leadership.
Leadership is influence.
Influence comes from connecting.
Connecting is 100% about the other person.
These were life changing words. The 3rd circle-CONNECTION is characterized by leadership, influence, and effectiveness (E3). 25 years of life experience after hearing Dr. Maxwell teach these concepts, gave clarity to the 3rd circle and what it truly means to connect in and with our tribe.
If the 4th circle, INTENTION, is a sacred doorway leading to your core tribe, the 3rd circle, CONNECTION, is the first measurable evidence we see of who belongs there. If we have not established connection and we delude ourselves into thinking we will have productive relationships in our core tribe, our delusion will be at great cost. Jumping ahead a little bit as this gets covered in the 2nd circle-RELATIONSHIP, our core tribe is our first two circles.
Contrary to common perception, connection can be bi-lateral, but typically starts unilaterally, and often remains that way. I can connect with someone, but it does not mean they will connect with me. Connection happens when I have added value or benefit to them in such a way that they are now bonded to me via granting me influence. This takes place by the activity we do in the 4th circle and continues throughout the four inward circles, where I have been nurturing them in ways that are important and meaningful to them. They perceive enough value in me that they begin to hear me and listen me into existence as a greater possibility, at least for them. They begin to act on things I say.
Maybe I would recommend a restaurant and they go to the restaurant based on my recommendation. Maybe I suggest they meet someone, and they take initiative to follow through and meet that person. Or I propose that they read a book and they report back to me later that they read the book. I will invite them to an event, webinar, or seminar and they will take me at my word, and they will attend. These are small indicators of connection that are evidenced by influence-people listen to what we say and act on what we say. This is the capital, power, and leverage to achieve anything in life and it must be built up like a bank account. The quantity and quality, the integrity of our connections, are the greatest indicator of what we can accomplish and achieve.
Adversely, how many current relations do you have and consider close, and yet they do not act on much of anything that you say? You can predict whether they will be available for anything of value outside of having fun. You can invite them to a barbeque, and they will come but if you invite them to attend an online seminar, they are always busy. This is symptomatic of low connection, if any, and low influence. It will be difficult to get anything meaningful done in life if this is how most of our relations are.
Much of the world wants to skip the connection step. They want to go right to the reciprocation where they are getting or receiving what they want from the interaction, without first connecting. We see this constantly in our inboxes when we are asked to buy from brands that have made no effort to connect with us. It shows up personally, when one person in a relation wants what they want and they manipulate to try to have it, without first connecting with us or adding value in areas that are important to us.
If we assess our tribe and discover that we lack connection, we might consider mentally moving individuals back to the 4th circle where we create a conscious and intentional plan to nurture them and re-establish connection. Our greatest frustrations will come from deluding ourselves that we have connection with those that we don’t. A thriving tribe requires self-honesty and self-honor. It is not easy to realize that those we care deeply about may not even hear or care to listen to us, even in the smallest instances. The highest and best we can do here is go back to nurturing them consciously or accept that it is what it is and move them out to the PING circle. It will take some time to consider this and arrive at what it truly means, but now we can be conscious of it.
Everything rises and falls on leadership and you are the leader of your tribe. You lead yourself well, which means to be successful as a person being, and you inspire others to lead themselves well. You steward the ecology, culture, and economy of your tribe. As you do this well, you connect with your tribe, and you generate influence. This gives you the capital, power, and leverage to achieve your highest and best for your greater good and the greater good of the tribe. Anything less than this and your tribe dwindles to less than its highest and best. Tribe Well!
